Excalibur
Electronics
Jackie’s Talking
Comedy Calculator
Operating Manual
www.ExcaliburElectronics.com
Model No. JK01
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
Installing the Batteries
Your Jackie’s Talking Comedy doesn’t anybody get the credit for
Calculator requires three AAA the “regular” screwdriver? Or was
batteries. They are included.
it a guy named “Regular”?) Lift
off the battery compartment lid.
Install the batteries, making sure
to match polarity (+ and -).
To replace the batteries, turn
Jackie’s
Talking
Comedy
Calculator over so that the unit is
face-down on a soft surface. Place the tab of the battery com-
Please be gentle ... you don’t want partment lid in its slot and close
it to get a boo-boo. Find the bat- the compartment door. Wonder
tery compartment on the back of out loud, “Did I put them in
the unit. I know you can do it. Use right?” Replace the screw and
a small Phillips screwdriver to gently tighten it. Do your laundry.
remove the screw. (Who was this Balance your checkbook. Eat
guy “Phillips,” anyway? Why three balanced meals a day.
Jackie’s Talking Comedy Calculator may
lock up due to static discharge
or other electrical disturbances.
If this should happen, use a slim,
pointed object to press the button
marked “RESET” on the back of the unit.
3
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
Layout of Jackie’s Talking Comedy Calculator
LCD
TALKING/
COMEDY
ALARM
TONE/
JACKIE
SOUND
ON/OFF
AVE JOKE
DATE
TIME
ENCORE
JOKE
M-/TIME
SET
UNIT/
DIGIT
M+/DATE
SET
MC/ENTER
MR/ALARM
SET
ALARM
CLOCK
CE
AC
REPLAY
WHAT?
JOKE
RESET
(on back)
4
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
Button and Switch Functions
CALCULATOR: The following but-
then that can be repeated.
tons are used for calculator func-
tions: 0-9, +, -, ?, ÷, ·, =, %, CE,
AC, M+/DATE SET, M-/TIME SET,
MR/ALARM SET, MC/ENTER and
UNIT/DIGIT. After seeing how
many functions there are, you
may choose to revert to longhand.
In that case, please re-package
SOUND: Slide this to turn the
sound “On” or “Off.” When slid-
ing from “On” to “Off,” a high-
pitched “Beep, beep!” is heard,
and when sliding from “Off” to
“On,” a sound of “Whoa!” is
heard. When you slide the switch
from “On” to “Off,” you hurt
Jackie’s feelings. If you slide the
switch from “Off ” to “On,” and
then immediately slide it back
from “On” to “Off,” you should
consider finding more productive
ways of spending your time.
Jackie’s
Talking
Comedy
Calculator and give it to your
brother-in-law for his birthday.
CLOCK/ALARM CLOCK: The fol-
lowing buttons are used for clock
and alarm clock functions: TIME,
DATE, ALARM CLOCK, M+/DATE SET,
M-/TIME SET, MR/ALARM SET and
MC/ENTER. The following button
cannot be used for any clock or
alarm clock function, and, in fact,
cannot be found on the unit:
Tuna Fish Sandwich.
TALKING/COMEDY: When the
“TALKING/COMEDY” switch is set
to “Comedy,” after the unit (mag-
ically) performs a calculator
function, and Jackie barks the
result, he also makes a short com-
ment. The comments are for the
most part ridiculous, are meant to
amuse, and in no way reflect the
opinions of Excalibur Electronics
or any of the people who use their
building for shade on hot days in
Miami.
JOKE (the button with the smil-
ing Jackie cartoon): Press to
play a joke. Want another one?
Press it again. Want anoth ... you
get it.
WHAT?: Press to play some ran-
dom silliness. Oh, we’re wacky.
ALARM TONE/JACKIE: Slide this to
select the type of alarm sound.
When sliding from “Jackie” to
REPLAY: Press to replay the last
sound. This can be repeated, and
5
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
“Tone,” a sound of “Beep, beep”
RESET: The RESET switch is locat-
is heard, and when sliding from ed on the back of the unit. (The
back of the unit is the opposite
side of the front of the unit.) If
“Tone” to “Jackie,” a sound of
“Alarm, alarm, alarm” is heard.
When sliding on your fanny
across a wet rubber mat in your
bathing suit, a sound of “Wheee!”
is heard.
Jackie’s
Talking
Comedy
Calculator locks up or malfunc-
tions, use a ballpoint pen to press
RESET. Also press RESET after
inserting new batteries. And
please immediately replace the
batteries if you have just pulled
this unit out of a 2003 Time
Capsule. If none of this works,
please use the same ballpoint pen
to do your calculations and write
SAVE JOKE: Press to save a joke
either while it’s being played or
after it’s played. The joke will be
touched that you like it enough to
keep it around.
ENCORE JOKE: Press to listen to a
saved joke. It may sound familiar. your own jokes.
Using Your Comedy Calculator
Setting the Clock Time
you’re about to set the time. And
we all love reassurance. Don’t be
nervous, but now, yes, we’re ready
to set the time.
After the unit has been reset, the
display will show the time, start-
ing at “1 2 -0 0 -0 0 AM.” If the
unit has not been reset, press the
TIME button, and the display will
show the current time. That is, if
it’s set correctly. Hey ... if it’s set
correctly, ignore this section and
go right to the “Gambling Tips”
section.
Pressing the TIME button will
change “AM” to “PM,” and press-
ing it again will change it back to
“AM.” Obviously, you could do
this all day. (And then it really
would change from “AM” to
“PM”! Hah!)
Press the M-/TIME SET button, and
if the sound is on, Jackie’s voice
The first digit of the time will be
flashing (“digit” is a fancy word
will confirm your selection, that for “number”). You may (may I?
6
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
yes, you may ... ) change this digit and if the sound is on, Jackie’s
(remember?) by pressing any voice will confirm your selection
number from 0 to 9. This will that you’re about to set the date.
change the flashing digit to the And we all love to hear we’ve
number (see? they’re interchange- done something right. Don’t get
able, and also, you can use either scared, but now, yes, we’re ready
word instead of the other one) you to set the date.
selected, and make the next digit
The first digit/number of the date
start flashing. I have no idea how
will be flashing. You may change
we got it to do that, but just enjoy.
this number/digit by pressing any
Continue changing each digit number from 0 to 9. This will
until you reach the last digit, change the flashing (!) digit to the
hopefully entering the correct number you selected and make
time as you plod through this the next digit start flashing (that
process.
impresses me every time).
Press MC/ENTER to confirm your Continue changing each digit
changes. (In our application, until you reach the last digit. Press
you’ll note that “flashing” is not
MC/ENTER to confirm your
an offensive term.) And always changes if at the end you some-
remember ... even a stopped clock how have entered the correct date.
is right twice a day.
If you’re wondering where you
Setting the Clock Date
can find out what the date is so
After the unit has been reset, the you can set Jackie’s Talking
display will show the date starting Comedy Calculator, I guess it’s a
at 1-1-2003. If the unit has not good thing you got yourself (or
been reset, press the DATE button, somebody else got you) one of
and the display will show the cur- these gadgets. From now on,
rent date. That is, if it’s set cor- you’ll always know the date. That
rectly. Hey ... if it’s set correctly, is, if you ever find out what the
ignore this section and go right to date is and set the thing.
the “Shaving Your Pet Mammals”
section.
Playing the Clock Time
Press the TIME button to see the
Press the M+/DATE SET button, currently set time. If the sound is
7
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
on, Jackie’s voice will giggle days, he’ll say something differ-
through a squeaky clean com- ent, but the same way (!).
ment, and then spout the time.
Setting the Alarm Clock Time
Then you can say, “It’s time to get
When the time or date is dis-
funnier comments.” Jackie will
played on the LCD, press
MR/ALARM SET to activate the
say the time differently depending
on the time of day (duh). That is,
alarm. I know setting your alarm
if the time is exactly on the hour,
clock is an unpleasant task, but
he will announce “one PM” for 1
try to smile and think about stuff
PM (when it’s 12 PM “twelve
you enjoy, about the good things
noon” will be heard, and when it’s
in your life.
12 AM Jackie will say “twelve
The display will show the time,
midnight” ... oh, he’s good). If the
starting at 12-00 AM. Pressing the
time is between 1 and 9 minutes
TIME button will change the time
on the hour, he will announce
to PM, while pressing it again will
“one oh three PM” for 1:03 PM. If
change it back to AM. (Doo dah,
the time is greater than 9 minutes
doo dah.)
on the hour, he will announce
“one ten PM” for 1:10 PM. The
seconds on the time display will
not be announced, because by the
time you say them, it’s wrong
already.
The first digit of the time will be
flashing ... flashing ... flashing.
You may change this digit by
pressing any number from 0 to 9.
The choices, my friend, are all
yours. This will change the flash-
ing digit to the number you select-
ed and make the next digit start
flashing. Every doggone time.
Playing the Clock Date
Press the DATE button to get a date
with the person of your dreams.
Kidding. Press the DATE button to
see the currently set date. If the
sound is on, Jackie’s voice will
announce the date. Jackie will say
the date as “Wednesday, January
one, two thousand and three (or
two thousand three or twenty oh
Continue changing each digit
until you reach the last digit. Press
the ALARM CLOCK button to set
the alarm. The icon “ALARM
ON” will display on the LCD.
Press the ALARM CLOCK button
three)” for 1-1-2003. On other again to turn off the alarm. (This
8
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
is a vital step if you want to sleep power-off mode.
through important appointments.)
Calculator Functions
To use the calculator, enter the
entire first number, then the oper-
ator (¸ , x, -, +) then the entire
second number, and finally the
“Equals” (=) sign to get the
answer. When the “Sound” is
“On,” Jackie will announce your
results differently based on
whether you have selected the
“Digit” or “Unit” function.
IMPORTANT: You can only turn
the alarm on and off while in the
alarm clock set mode.
After setting the alarm, press
MC/ENTER to confirm your
choices. IMPORTANT: Visit
and get some more of our joke
gadgets. Pressing and holding the
ALARM CLOCK button after exit-
ing the alarm set mode will dis-
play the time the alarm is set for.
When the alarm goes off, the
alarm sound will be heard even if
the “Sound” switch is set to “Off.”
When the ALARM TONE/JACKIE
switch is set to “Tone” and the
alarm goes off, a high-pitched
“Beep, beep” is heard. When the
ALARM TONE/JACKIE switch is set
to “Jackie” and the alarm goes
off, 11 different sounds will be
randomly heard.
For example, if you pressed the
UNIT button and “DIG” is dis-
played on the LCD, when you
divide 99 by 9 (enter “99,” then
press the “Divided By” [÷] key,
then enter “9,” and finally the
“Equals” sign [=] ), Jackie will
announce the answer “11” as
“One, one.”
When the UNIT button has been
pressed, and “UNIT” is displayed
on the LCD, then when you divide
99 by 9, Jackie will announce the
answer “11” as “Eleven.” Unless
our gizmo miscalculates.) If that
should occur, please call your
favorite uncle and talk about the
highlights, if there were any, of
your childhood.)
When the alarm goes off, pressing
any button or sliding any switch
or smashing the unit with the heel
of a shoe will turn off the alarm. If
the alarm is not turned off, after
five minutes (if the neighbors
haven’t broken in and shut it off The display can hold only 10 dig-
first), the unit will go into auto its. If you enter more than 10 dig-
9
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
its, Jackie will announce your ously entered values or functions.
number, but it will not be dis-
played on the LCD and will not be
used in any calculation. Jackie’s
Talking Comedy Calculator will
wait patiently for you to stop
showing off and get back to work.
The ALL CLEAR (AC) button clears
all values that have been previous-
ly entered.
Percent Function
The PERCENT (% ) button is used
to get percentages of a number.
For example, if you want to find
out what 85 percent of 360 is,
press the ALL CLEAR (AC) button,
then enter 360, then MULTIPLY BY
(X), then 85 and then the PERCENT
(% ) button. The answer will be
306.
Memory Functions
The MEMORY PLUS (M+) button
adds the number currently dis-
played to the currently stored
number. If the memory is empty,
it places the displayed value in
memory and the memory indica-
tor (M) will appear in the display.
The MEMORY MINUS (M-) button
subtracts the number currently
displayed from the number al-
ready stored. If the memory is
empty, it places the displayed
value as a negative number in
memory and the memory indica-
tor (M) will appear in the display.
The MEMORY RECALL (MR) button
replaces the currently displayed
number with the value in memory.
The MEMORY CLEAR (MC) button
clears the memory and removes
the memory indicator (M) from
the display.
Playing Jokes
Press the JOKE button and the
number of the joke will display on
the LCD for three seconds as
Jackie tells it to you. Each of the
72 gut-busting jokes will random-
ly play before a joke is repeated.
Pressing the REPLAY button will
replay the last joke. Eventually,
just saying the numbers will be
enough to evoke hysterical laugh-
ter. For a transcript of the jokes,
play them over and over as you
type them.
Saving Jokes
Press the SAVE JOKE button either
during or after a joke to save that
Clear Functions
The CLEAR ENTRY (CE) button
deletes the currently displayed joke. Jackie will then say, “That’s
value. It does not clear any previ- one (or “That’s two,” up to ten),”
10
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
and then tell a joke. The number idea to take pen in hand and jot
of the saved joke (1 through 10) down your memoirs.
will display on the LCD. A maxi-
Setting the Volume
mum of 10 jokes can be saved.
You may set the volume of the
(After that, you’ll have to engage
unit only while a joke is being
played. Press the PLUS (+) button
to increase the volume and the
a body part we’ll hereafter refer to
as your brain.)
MINUS (-) button to decrease the
volume (bet you could’ve figured
that out, eh, mate?)
When you save the eleventh joke,
the first saved joke will be deleted
so the last joke may be added. If
you try to save a joke that’s
already been saved, Jackie will
tell you it’s not allowed (because
it’s already in there, you knuckle-
head) and short sheet your bed.
There are five loudness levels,
where one is the softest and five is
the loudest. Each level is dis-
played on the LCD as two dashes,
so Level One shows as “- - ,”
Level Two as “- - - - ,” on up to
Level Five as “- - - - - - - - - -.” So
... it follows that eight dashes is
Level Four.
Replaying Saved Jokes
Press the ENCORE JOKE button to
replay the saved jokes. You’ll start
at the first saved joke and contin-
ue to the tenth joke, if you have
that kind of time. After the tenth
joke, you’ll start over with the
first joke. Eventually, you’ll get
back to whatever it is you’re sup-
posed to be doing.
Isn’t it funny that you may need
the calculator to figure out how
loud the calculator is?
The incredibly unique “What?”
Function
Pressing the WHAT? button will
play one of Jackie’s 84 silly
sounds or sayings. None will
repeat until all are played, or
they’ll be sent to bed without din-
ner. While the sound is playing,
you may press any button to turn
Deleting all of the Saved Jokes
Press the SAVE JOKE and ENCORE
JOKE buttons at the same time for
three seconds to delete all the
saved jokes. Pressing the RESET
button will also delete all of the
saved jokes. When the saved jokes it off, or simply run out of the
are all deleted, it would be a good room. Pressing the REPLAY button
11
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
will repeat the last sound.
Press any button or slide any
switch to wake the unit up and
return to the time mode.
Auto Power Off
If no key is pressed for three min-
utes, the unit will display the cur- My Personal Guarantee
rent time. If no key is pressed for I promise I will enjoy spending
a total of five minutes, the unit the money you blew on this thing.
will automatically turn off in
order to spare your batteries. It
will feel neglected, and perhaps
eventually file for a separation.
Seriously, thanks a lot ...
Jackie Martling
Long Island, N.Y., 2003
If no button is pushed for five minutes,
your Calculator will turn off to save
your batteries. Just push any button
to wake the unit up.
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
Special Care & Handling
•
•
Avoid rough handling such as bumping or dropping.
Avoid moisture and extreme temperatures. For best results, use between the
temperatures of 39ºF and 100ºF (4º C and 38º C.)
•
Clean using only a slightly damp cloth. Do not use cleaners with chemical
agents.
Battery Information
•
•
•
Batteries should be installed or replaced only by an adult.
The Comedy Calculator uses 3 AAA batteries, included.
Do not mix alkaline, standard (carbon-zinc) or rechargeable (nickel-cadmi-
um) batteries.
•
•
•
•
•
•
Do not mix old and new batteries.
Do not use rechargeable batteries.
Remove exhausted batteries from the unit.
Do not short circuit battery terminals.
Remove batteries and store them in a cool, dry place when not in use.
To avoid explosion or leakage, do not dispose of batteries in a fire or attempt
to recharge alkaline or other non-rechargeable batteries.
Due to continuing improvements, actual
product may differ slightly from the
product described herein.
13
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
90-Day Limited Warranty
EXCALIBUR
ELECTRONICS,
not allow limitations on the duration
INC., warrants to the original con-
sumer that its products are free from
any electrical or mechanical defects
for a period of 90 DAYS from the date
of purchase. If any such defect is dis-
covered within the warranty period,
of implied warranties and do not
allow exclusion of incidental or con-
sequential damages, so the above lim-
itations and exclusions in these
instances may not apply.
The only authorized service center in
the United States is:
EXCALIBUR
ELECTRONICS,
INC., will repair or replace the unit
free of charge upon receipt of the
unit, shipped postage prepaid and
insured to the factory address shown
at right.
Excalibur Electronics, Inc.
13755 SW 119th Ave
Miami, Florida 33186 U.S.A.
Phone: 305.477.8080
Fax: 305.477.9516
The warranty covers normal con-
sumer use and does not cover damage
that occurs in shipment or failure that
results from alterations, accident,
misuse, abuse, neglect, wear and tear,
inadequate maintenance, commercial
use, or unreasonable use of the unit.
Removal of the top panel voids all
warranties. This warranty does not
cover cost of repairs made or attempt-
ed outside of the factory.
Ship the unit carefully packed, prefer-
ably in the original carton, and send it
prepaid, and adequately insured.
Include a letter, detailing the com-
plaint and including your daytime
telephone number, inside the shipping
carton.
If your warranty has expired and you
want an estimated fee for service,
write to the above address, specifying
the model and the problem.
Any applicable implied warranties,
including warranties of merchantabil-
ity and fitness, are hereby limited to
90 DAYS from the date of purchase.
Consequential or incidental damages
resulting from a breach of any appli-
cable express or implied warranties
are hereby excluded. Some states do
PLEASE DO NOT SEND
YOUR UNIT WITHOUT
RECEIVING AN ESTIMATE FOR
SERVICING. WE CANNOT
STORE YOUR UNIT!
15
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
Excalibur Electronics, Inc.
13755 SW 119th Ave
Miami, Florida 33186 U.S.A.
Phone: 305.477.8080
Fax: 305.477.9516
Play games live at:
Download from Www.Somanuals.com. All Manuals Search And Download.
|